When I loved myself enough

One of my favourite books of all time is a book called "When I loved myself enough" by Kim McMillan.  Kim lists things that she sees as self love toward herself. I highly recommend it if anyone is looking for a thought provoking book.  


One of Mish's podcasts is her lesson "Your body is perfect".  In it, she talks about how our bodies are actually perfect.  When I put good nutrition into my body, when I exercise it, my body loses weight.  When I put poor nutrition into my body and don't exercise it, my body gains fat.  If I do the same exercise day in day out, my body begins to burn less calories to save energy.  There's nothing wrong with my body.  In fact, there never has been!  My body does exactly what it is meant to do.  It is, in fact, perfect!


I can't believe I've spent so long at war with my body, hating on it, thinking it was "less than"!


I had a bit of a breakthrough this week.  I realised that living a healthy lifestyle (that is: good nutritious food and exercise) is something I now do not because I have to, or because I should.  Instead, I do it from a place of self-love because I am worth it.  

It has become more of a willing conscious choice, than a forced one.




When I loved myself enough I realised that my body is perfect.  


When I loved myself enough, I chose to live a healthy life style as a gift for being the wonderful person that I am.

Flexing the willpower muscle - am I being too hard on myself?

I suppose I should put a disclaimer on what I’m about to write.  I really do consider that I have a pretty strong willpower muscle, developed since April, and I’m really proud of how strong it is. 

I organised a Christmas in July morning tea at work that was held a couple of weeks ago.  Everyone brought in this delicious looking and incredibly sugar loaden food but despite this, during the morning tea, I didn’t touch a single thing.  Even when I had to cut some doughnuts and cake and I got some cinnamon sugar and icing on my fingers, I didn’t even lick my fingers when I was done.  I just went straight to the sink and washed my hands.  The food sat in the kitchen throughout the day and I didn’t touch a single thing, although was tempted on the couple of times I went to make a cup of tea or fill up my water bottle.

I posted a while ago about how I was given a chocolate cupcake from one of the cupcake shops and I gave it away to a work colleague (although I entertained the thought of how nice it would taste before I did!).

I get that my willpower muscle is strong based on those events, but that doesn’t mean that it was easy.  Each and every situation I have come across where I’ve flexed that willpower muscle, has meant I’ve had to make the conscious choice not to eat that food.  It often involved some serious deliberation in my head, weighing up the options (is it really worth it? will I think it’s worth it if I weigh myself on Wednesday and I haven’t lost as much as I wanted? how will I feel if I don’t eat it and get a great result on Wed vs how will eating the food make me feel? Will I look back at this moment in time in 6 months and think, gee I wish I had that chocolate slice etc? is this honouring the commitment I made to myself, and to Michelle?).

One of my biggest goals right now is to get to a headspace where the choice becomes subconscious and not a conscious one.  I want to be one of those people who really can take it or leave it, without having to deliberate in their head about it before making the choice.

I was discussing this with a friend on the weekend and he thinks I’m being too hard on myself.  He thinks I should just be happy with the fact I have such a strong willpower and can make the conscious decision and stick with it.

Am I being too hard on myself, or am I setting myself a realistic goal?